I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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