that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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