Pappa wants mamma naked
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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