There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
