I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize