I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
