apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
