I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
jump out the window naked night went bad
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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