Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
