Banned from zoo.
Again?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
