paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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