i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
