Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Is Oprah even human
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
