she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
