Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
No subtext here. People are naked.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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