Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(360): View more from Washington

I don't think brook has ever known best

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.

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(817): View more from Texas

Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(315): View more from New York

Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.

(1-315): View more from New York

How small IS your cock?

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(513): View more from Ohio

Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich

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