I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
