um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Never underestimate the power of titties
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
