that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Randomize
