i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize