Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
