i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
