Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
