i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
