There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize