around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
