Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
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He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
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Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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