sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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