is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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