how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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