they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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