I can text with my tongue
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
