We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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