He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
