im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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