I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
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