my sisters under your porch take her home
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
