It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
