I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
