she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
