So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
