babies were throwing up all over the place
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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