I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
