yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just googled if crying burns calories
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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