You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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