I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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