I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
