I need help removing her.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
