Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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