Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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