i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
