we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Randomize
