I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
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I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
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He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize