you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
