we have pet lesbian snakes
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
