Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Help. Why am I so naked?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
