i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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