dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize