I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize