In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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