i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
