I heard we made out
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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